The sconce beams along the wall burned the low orange of evening, casting Haley’s bedchamber in a calming glow. Guen found it plain compared to the chambers of the other nobility here; only a bed, a chest by the foot, a table, and a seat by the empty fireplace, none of which were visually stunning. All practical and simple, like the rest of his chambers. No personality, all bare function. Not even a gift.
Silent as a ghost, Haley passed Guen to sit in the chair. He sighed, heavily. Something seemed to weigh intensely on him. Had he ever looked so pensive in front of Guen? He feared saying something, likely to be snapped at for pointing out something so vulnerable.
Vulnerable. That was the word. Bringing the Deer into his impenetrable chambers. Uncharacteristically disheveled, head held by his hand and eyebrows knit darkly, the perfectly unflappable Haley was vulnerable.
Guen felt a chill run up his back. The instinct to run poured into his legs. He grasped Uhail’s leg for comfort.
“U-um…”
“What did I tell you about stuttering,” Haley said. But it was an unusually lifeless correction. He sighed, and covered his face with a hand. “…”
“Ha-Ms. Cométa…” Guen swallowed. “Is something…?”
“Haley is fine.” His leg bounced. His leg never bounced. He’d crack a whip over others’ knees for bouncing!
Guen tilted his head, angling his ears to hear better. “Pardon?”
“Haley is fine.” His teeth grit audibly. Haley’s expression darkened. Guen had the impression that it wasn’t quite fine.
“…Okay…Haley…what-”
Haley cringed violently, hand snapping into a fist. “Guen, answer one question. Just one. As clearly as possible.”
“…Okay,” The Deer nodded. Every passing moment in the threshold of this room felt like an increasing threat. He really needed to leave. “Is that all?”
“It depends on your answer.”
Hm. He didn’t like the sound of that.
Without eating another moment, Haley took in a deep breath, and asked, “Do you know who fathered your daughter?”
“…” Guen stared at Haley. “I did.”
“You know what I mean.” His brown eyes lit with flecks of gold, skin to fire. “Who got you pregnant?”
The light sconces flickered. A low hum rose into the air, instantly thickened with tension. His instinct had been right.
Guen watched Haley.
“No, I do not.”
Haley grit his teeth. “…Do you remember when?”
“Yes, I do.”
“When was it?”
Guen took a step forward. The air began to visibly vibrate, humming louder. “I remember, one sweltering April night,” He took another step. “I was sleeping with my caravan in a small Earthian village far too close to this place. We needed supplies. We had no choice, despite being aware of how that village had preserved its homes and farms for so long, practically in the shadow of these City walls.”
Haley’s gaze followed him as he stepped closer and closer. He made no move to stop him. Not even a twitch. Simply listening, for once. What could have him so out of sorts? Guen sneered.
“I slept with my mother, as I always had,” Haley took another step. “I went to relieve myself.” Another, legs between his. “After I’d been raped, I went back to her bed. She was gone.”
Haley visibly paled. The Deer stared down at him.
“I don’t remember their face, or their voice. But I remember their scent. The stickiness, the pain of the bushes digging into my face and the bruising grip on my body.”
Guen tilted his head. “Is that a good enough answer, Haley?”
They stared at each other in silence. Something in Haley’s eyes made him hesitate to turn away.
“Was it like this?” Haley asked.
“Huh-”
Haley grabbed his arms. “Did he disarm you like this?” A hard yank and Guen was whipped around with a cry, both of his wrists held tightly in Haley’s one.
“Did he push you down, like this?” His other hand wrapped around Guen’s neck. Knees into the back of his, he was forced to buckle down to the floor easily. Uhail was jostled on his back – Uhail-!
“Was it big? Was it hard?” Guen was pressed down painfully. He wrested his arms free to scrabble away, but hands gripped his hips, and Gods, he wailed. “Did it hurt? Did it feel like a wild animal was tearing you apart?”
“Yes!” Guen sobbed. “Yes, yes! Let us go! Please, please, let us go!”
“…” Haley fell quiet. “…Guen.”
With helpless breaths, Guen craned his back to look.
He was smiling. Haley never smiled, and this one was so pained, hollow, haunted.
All of the lights blew out at once.
The room was plunged into complete darkness, illuminated only by the soft light trailing in from the drawing room.
“She has my eyes.”
“Wh…what do you…”
“I remembered, Guen.” Haley was doing something – he was – playing with Uhail’s feet. “I remembered everything. My childhood. That night. I’d forgotten, somehow. But recently…a lot had happened.” His hands wrapped around her, “And now I remember. I’m sorry.”
Guen whipped around and snatched Uhail from him. “Don’t touch me!” He gasped shudderingly, and shrieked, “DON’T TOUCH ME!”
Haley’s hands fell. “She has my ears,” He said. “My ears were long and white too, remember? They were removed…”
“Aaah…” The Deer moaned, clutching his baby close. His gaze clouded, his heart twisted in rabbiting, agonizing beats, “Aaaaah…”
“I’m sorry,” Haley said. He sat on his knees, hands in fists. “That’s all I can say.”
“Uhail,” He whimpered, rocking back and forth. She squirmed and writhed in his arms but she didn’t know, she didn’t know anything, he had to keep her safe-!
All at once a surge of rage lifted every shard of glass and filament in the room and angled it at Haley. Guen rocketed to his feet, snarling.
“YOU MONSTER!” Glass dug into Haley’s cheeks. “What you did to me…! I-I was killed that night! My friend that I loved first, that I missed for so long, killed me! My Haley killed me! I would have shot myself if Old Father hadn’t told me how important life is! The noble act of birthing a child…! The growing in my belly, the pain, the sick, the starvation, all alone, everyone I knew killed and stolen…cutting my own umbilical cord…!”
He dug it further into Haley, drawing rivulets of blood. Blood, blood, blood…! “I WAS FOURTEEN!”
His blood – she needed his blood, she needed it spilled across this sinfully lavish carpet and staining this castle built on the endless ongoing murder and slavery of her people, herself, she needed all of this gone. Gone.
The glass shook violently in the air. Several fell to the floor; several more began to spin and zip around violently as Guen clutched Uhail close enough to feel her heartbeat, struggling to breathe. The first year of agony, the second of fear, this third…when will it end? When will his suffering end? Will it ever? Ever since that night…!
“I’m scared,” Guen sobbed. “I’M SCARED!!”
“Guen-”
“LEAVE US ALONE!!!”
Sharp whistling pierced Guen’s ears – the glass went flying. There was the frightful sound of tearing. But all of that was glazed over by his arms being twisted. Thrown off of Uhail.
“NO-!!”
Haley took her. Just like that, Haley took her.
“She couldn’t breathe,” He said severely. His clothes were torn, blood dripping from his face, holding her so gently. “You were holding her too tightly. She was suffocating.”
“…” Guen stared, eyes wide and empty. “…”
Haley was, for all intents and purposes, an entirely different person than when he first met him, all those years ago. He’d been a wild child without any home, given his name by Guen’s mother. The first scar the Humans left on him was the loss of Haley.
Then, being kidnapped himself and meeting his long lost friend again, only to find a “Human” noble that didn’t remember him, and would bully, harass, and belittle him for any stray imperfection, a cruel warp on the kindly excitable Rabbit Guen knew… Finally reconciling with this new Haley, they’d made up over time and come to an unsteady truce…even something akin to a friendship, undoubtedly volatile, but still built on trust after so many incidents.
Guen was able to avoid a worse slavery because of Haley, ultimately. The slavers wanted to take Uhail away and sell them separately to whoever would buy. It was thanks to Haley, even if it was pity, that the Prince arrived to that auction and bought both of them.
“There, there,” Haley pat her back. She was crying. “It’s okay. You’re okay. Mommy was just scared. It’s okay.”
Guen owed more than his life to Haley. Uhail, his beloved baby girl, wouldn’t exist without Haley. Haley, who’d ruined his life.
She calmed down right away. Accepting her pacifier like it was fine, as if anyone other than Guen has ever held her, so comfortable in Haley’s arms…his child…
An overwhelming flare of disgust lit in Guen. Just as quickly, it was doused by the ensuing tidal wave of shame.
Guen cried. Nobody held him, and he didn’t have anyone to hold.